If there is one thing I am good at, it is being myself. That sounds like a no-brainer, but it has taken me a solid decade to truly work out who I am in relation to my own nature, those around me and my role in society. 

Having a deep knowledge of who you are is key to having a good relationship with other people, whether they are strangers, romantic partners or friends. You should take the time to evaluate who you are to yourself, especially with a certain, semi-painful holiday coming up next Wednesday. 

Step 1: Describe Yourself to Yourself

I love a good list, so take a little time and write out every word you would describe yourself as exemplifying. Every word. Once you have like 15 words, go over each one and identify why you think it applies to you. 

For example, I always use the term “loyal” to describe myself because I am very devoted to those around me. I always have my friends’ backs, through thick and thin. I also would use the words “smart” and “artistic” to describe myself because I know that I have a strong education and love to create (check my silly GPA and minors list). 

You can also use words like “sibling,” “worker” or “friend.” There is no wrong answer for how you describe yourself. 

Remember this list is for you, but if you want to ask a friend their thoughts go ahead. It can be helpful to learn how they see you as well, and a true friend would love to let you know their thoughts. 

Step 2: Make A Likes-Dislikes List

Is it a little silly to make a list of these things because you kind of just know them? Yes, but it does help you breakdown your own opinions visually. Include everything on this list (because it should only be seen by you), and I mean everything: likes, dislikes, phobias, passions, people’s names, etc. 

Here is a sample of my own list: 

Likes 

- Making things

- Reading   

- Learning/School   

- Volleyball

- My roommates

Dislikes

- Being talked over

- Literature Reviews

- Colleen Hoover books

- Studying   

- [REDACTED NAME]

Step 3: Connect the Two Lists

From your list of likes and dislikes, connect the words you used to describe yourself. If you cannot find a connection, dig a little deeper into each list because I can promise you there is a reason. 

For example, because I am artistic, I like making things and learning. Because I dislike being talked over, I would describe myself as confrontational. 

Again, there are no wrong answers here. If you do not like an answer you found, maybe think about how you can adjust yourself or your surroundings to remedy the issue. 

Knowing yourself gives you power because you understand how you like to be treated, and you deserve to be treated that way. It is significantly harder for people to harm you (emotionally at least) if you have confidence and self-assurance in who you are. 

Take 15 minutes and delve deeper into yourself so you can be the best, truest version of you. 

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