For our student readers, the university campus is their home away from home and, for many, their first taste of independent living. Notably, it is also where they will spend four of their most formative years. This fast-paced development can often become arrested when holiday breaks and summer come around. The sojourns home result in whiplash for both students and their parents. Below, writers from The Slate share their experiences and feelings about the challenges and joys of returning home.

Being home is, for lack of a better word, weird. Going home for the holidays is a different kind of weird than being home for the summer in my experience. I am a child of divorce, so being home for holidays entails figuring out when I see my dad and his side of the family. I will say being an adult has made this experience easier, as I have more control. 

Being home for the summer is what makes me feel like I am going back to a teenage or high school mentality. Staying up late and sleeping in even later, hiding from my little sisters in my room, etc. Being home feels like time traveling back to my 16-year-old self.

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Being home for a holiday is much different than going home solely to see your family and friends. When I am home on a normal weekend, it is very low stress. I might go to the movies with my friend, eat dinner with my family and leave that Sunday. On a holiday like Easter, I know I will have to face my extended family, which is possibly the most stressful situation of all time.

When all the grandchildren are in college and high school, these family gatherings are not as fun and whimsical; they are a chore. As a college student who just wants to rest, waking up to spend time in a room with people who only care about what job you are getting after graduation feels like a waste of my time. I love going home on the weekends but doing it for holidays has a more sinister feel to it.

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When I first started college, going home felt strange. It felt like I was switching back and forth between my old life and my new college life; like I was back in high school again, almost regressing. Eventually, I adjusted, and it became normal.

Now, going home is what I look forward to all week. I live three hours from campus, so I do not get to go home very often. I find that as I get older, the more I yearn for those chill weekends with my family.

I used to want to get away from home, but now I want to be home as much as I can. Going home for the holidays is the best. I try not to put too much pressure on myself. I used to obsess over every moment, feeling guilty that I was not maximizing my time with my family. Now, I am just grateful to be able to celebrate with them, whether that means having a fancy dinner or just chilling on the couch. I also love our family holiday traditions, which I look forward to every year.

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Whenever I go home, I feel like I have stepped through a time portal. Not only am I transported back to my high school days, but I also feel like my family has a subconscious expectation for me to have not changed at all since they last saw me.

I think it is natural, but my parents still see the kid I used to be when I lived at home 365 days of the year, because for them, that is where they have seen me the most. During spring break, I got my haircut with my mom, and I heard her tell my hairdresser that I am “a completely different person when [I am] at school.” The only reason my mom thinks this is because she has not been able to witness the growth I have experienced since being in the college setting and living on my own.

I think part of it is due to the roles we all play in our lives. I am a daughter, a sister and a student, and these roles conflict with one another depending on the environment I am in. When I am at home, I find it harder to keep the same footing I have while living independently at school, and sometimes, it even feels like I take a few steps backward.

This is not to say that I do not enjoy seeing my family or going home for the holidays. It is just a different routine I find myself in. I live a few hours away from campus, so apart from structured breaks, I do not go home too often. This makes the transition when I am home a lot harder. While I do love going home and seeing friends and family, it does feel like a completely different world than when I am at school.

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Family traditions, especially during holidays, have always been chaotic. As a child with divorced parents, holidays were always split between separate families and separate lists, and there was always a clear differentiation on who got what time. It was always loud, crazy, packed and nothing I wanted to be a part of.

It did not feel like a holiday, more like a burden. I became independent very early in life, so after that, I decided where I went for the holidays or if I even went at all. Now, I can celebrate when, where, how and with whom I want after years of being in many uncomfortable or unwanted situations.

Having the autonomy to choose who I want to see rather than having to see a bunch of people at once is something I would never give up. Being in college makes that even easier, and although it is sad to be away from all of my family and not see them often, the times where I get to are even better, especially when it is not all at once. Sometimes family is better in moderation.

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