As Jo March says in the 2019 film “Little Women” — “Women, they have minds and they have souls as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent as well as just beauty. I am so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I’m so sick of it!”

Despite growing up in a traditional nuclear family, I have been lucky enough to grow up without the pressure to pursue the same. In fact, my mom continues to advise the exact opposite. However, marriage and children continue to be seen as the ultimate achievement for young women everywhere, and I am tired of feeling out of place for not desiring them. 

There is not a big secret behind my indifference. When I say I do not want to have children, I have never meant it in a “I do not want to bring a child into this world” way, and I am not against marriage as an institution. I sympathize with individuals who do feel held back by these barriers, but my outlook is not nearly as emotional or powerful. I just do not care that much.

A decade ago, I am not sure my opinion would have been seen as radical. Even today, I see tons of headlines about how many Gen Z women are not getting married or having children. Statistics like these should help me feel less alone, but five minutes later, I will see a TikTok detailing the “Day in the Life” of a 19-year-old “tradwife.” 

I am trying my best not to write another opinion piece about America’s recent rise of conservatism. Still, I cannot find another reason for people’s reactions to my indifference to starting a family. Because, for a brief moment in time, women were allowed to be unsure. We were encouraged to make mistakes and prioritize ourselves before finding a partner or bringing new life into the world. Gen X and millennials have always pushed the idea of independence, and many baby boomers tell women to never settle down. Unfortunately, it often feels like this trajectory has come to a halt for Gen Z.

I know the internet has a heavy hand in this shift, as well. Between trends like red-pill podcasts and “MomTok,” social media has made it so that anyone with a phone can form opinions on what women should and should not do with their potential. Recently, I have also seen fewer childless content creators with an uprise of young parents. I believe the popularity of family-centered content has led to the romanticization of a more “traditional” lifestyle, creating expectations rather than leaving room for desire. 

Of course, I do not think my mindset makes me better than anyone else. I acknowledge and respect the plenty of young people who are truly excited to start a family and find joy in planning their futures.

My recent conflict with the idea of marriage and children is not with this crowd, but with those who refuse to understand a different point of view. There has been a resurgence of the belief that women are predisposed to want to achieve these milestones, and until indifference is accepted as much as desire, women’s choices will never be fully their own. 

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