With the fixation on celebrity couples, it’s no surprise this year has been designated as the year of divorce. Some of Hollywood’s biggest couples are cutting ties after years of matrimony. With this news, it is very common for people to immediately think that this will destroy their professional careers. That something terrible must’ve happened, or that one or both parties are at fault in some way. This however, speaks to a larger issue, the stigma around divorce in general.
Despite what some might say, divorce is very necessary, but should not be tossed around like it is in Hollywood sometimes. Marriage is a lot of work and it feels like sometimes people go into it for the wrong reasons, which leads to divorce. It would benefit a lot of people to attend pre-marriage classes (which is required in some religions) that give a basis for how the other person thinks.
There's a lot of fear mongering about divorce, especially from conservative 'return to traditional values' types. But the rise in divorce over the last few decades can be seen in a more positive light. In the past, those marriages wouldn't have ended. The parties would just be in an unhappy marriage. More people are seeing divorce as an option, which means marriages that aren't working can end (sometimes amicably) instead of leaving one or more partners frustrated.
Why is marriage such a societally ingrained institution anyway?
Everyone hopes that one day, they’ll ride off into the sunset with that special someone and live that happily ever after. However, many of the misconceptions around marriages and what often leads to divorces is that fantasy that everything will be perfect. Love isn’t perfect. We’re all human, and as humans, we don’t always tend to agree on everything. So many couples fear arguing and feel that if you have a disagreement, you can’t really be in love.
This is ridiculous. Sure, it’s not great to argue all the time, but avoiding the tough issues completely is just a recipe for disaster.
Too often in situations, married couples will feel that they have to stay together for the sake of their children or other life factors. This villainizes the notion of co-parenting, which of course has its difficulties too, but is proof that divorces do not always have to be someone in the wrong.
Obviously, divorce is essential at times of abuse or risk of harm to either significant others or third parties, but this still comes under scrutiny. More often than not religion will cloud the mind of rational people and make them believe that the real crime being committed is not the pain being inflicted on them, but that leaving that harmful situation is.