Let me just say this first — before the COVID-19 coronavirus I was probably the most chaotic person ever. From planning extravagant trips to having an overly detailed step-by-step plan on how I was going to be successful — I handled my stress in unhealthy ways. Of course, I always knew that life was going to punch me in the face sooner or later, but being naive, I figured I would handle it with ease because I am just that amazing *flips hair.*
But after spending four months in quarantine and having the world in shambles, I was traumatized. For the first time in my life I realized I suppressed my emotions, did not know what life was and how much I missed putting on a full face of makeup. I finally swallowed my pride and asked the man who goes by many names for guidance.
I came to realize that it is OK to not know everything, to not know what is coming next and most importantly to not be in control.
As an Aries, having control is No. 1 for me — it is a part of my identity. I felt like I was losing my mind not having control over important things, but once I talked to the Creator, I started to feel safe again. I never thought in my life that I would have a come-to-Jesus moment especially with the borderline-blasphemous things I have said in the past.
But now I find myself reading Bible passages and attending online church. It might be hard for some but it is OK to feel vulnerable and to seek help if needed. I am not here to force my faith on anyone. I am saying having faith in whatever you believe in will restore peace to your mind. It also will help you confront the fears and intrusive thoughts you face on a daily basis.
For me, it was odd at first to reach out to Him, and to admit to myself that I could not do this by myself. Once you admit that for yourself, trust me it gets better.
So for those who are struggling out there with the dread of the future and the never-ending coronavirus crisis: Do not be afraid to pray and ask for spiritual guidance and strength, it does not make you weak. In fact, that is the first step in becoming invincible.