I am not ashamed to say that I am single as of the 2025 Halloween season. There is no Edward to my Bella, no Jack to my Sally and no Gomez to my Morticia. My singlehood, however, has not prevented me from noticing that some couple’s costumes do not work as well as others. These can be distasteful, problematic or just plain gross. Here are eight suggestions of how not to dress up with your significant other this Halloween.
Horse Costume
Someone will have to be the butt of the joke and the costume with this one.
As charming as this classic costume is, do not forget that someone always has to be the butt. No one wants to be the butt. The hunching over is bad for your back, and you are vulnerable to receiving a face full of noxious gas. However, if it is one of those horse-with-rider costumes, then it is fine.
Frankenstein and the Bride
The Frankenstein Couples Costume. Maybe watch the movie first.
You might be surprised that I would include this on this list, since these two seem to go together like fish and chips. They are considered an iconic monster power couple. So, what is the problem? Well, if you have ever actually seen the 1935 film “Bride of Frankenstein,” which first introduced the monster’s counterpart, you would know that they did not exactly hit it off.
Spoiler warning for a 90-year-old movie:
The “Bride” only showed up in the last few minutes of the movie, and all she did was hiss and shriek at Frankenstein in terror. Then, the anguished monster decided to commit murder-suicide by pulling a lever that blew up the castle.
Not super romantic. If this does not discourage you and you still want to rock these costumes with your significant other, then go right ahead. I only suggest that you do not watch “Creature Commandos.”
The Joker and Harley Quinn
The Joker and Harley Quinn are not exactly a model couple.
These costumes were super popular for couples in 2016, so maybe it has a bit of nostalgic charm now. Regardless, this is another case of the characters not being a good romantic pairing. While “Suicide Squad” depicted the pair as an unhinged but genuinely loving couple, that is not how they are usually shown. It was made clear with Harley Quinn’s introduction in “Batman: The Animated Series” that their relationship is mostly one-sided. I do not have enough room to list every example of “Jarley” being a toxic couple, so just trust me.
Boobs
What can I even say? Sure, it is funny, but you cannot exactly show up to a family gathering or work event with your significant other like this.
“It” hits the fan
This category, I saw on Amazon is from “Rasta Imposta.” It is based on the vulgar idiom that cannot be published in a university newspaper. Put it on the list for general peepee-poopoo humor.
Plug and Outlet
The joke is sex. That is it.
“Aunt Flo” and Tampon Box
The original image is out there and can be found with a simple Google search. The woman, dressed in red, represents a bodily function. The man, inside a box, is a menstrual hygiene product. It should be self-explanatory for anyone who has ever been in a health class in fourth grade.
Genitals
Maybe you have decided to give up on innuendo and be as blunt as possible. While it is gross, I can at least admire the boldness. However, please do not.
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