I don’t date men. You don’t have to, either. 

Back in 2022, news outlets reported that the conservative dating app “The Right Stuff” was receiving one-star reviews due to its lack of women. Pew Research Center released an article in April of this year stating that men are more likely to affiliate with the Republican party than women. In a happening that I am sure is totally coincidental, the group much more likely to restrict and infringe on women’s rights is also men. 

There is no genetic combination that makes a person worse. There is no body part that makes someone more likely to be abusive. There is, however, a system of patriarchy in place that encourages those in power to uphold oppressive structures. There is no shortage of men who value kindness and equality. These values do not translate to action, which has a shortage of men who are willing to fight (or even mildly inconvenience themselves) for that equality. 

If you read this and find yourself feeling belittled or concerned or feel as though you should not be viewed in the same light as these others because you are supportive and cool, that is great, but take some time to reflect on what you’re contributing to people outside your circles. Are you prepared to stand up to others and tell your friends and family off for being bigots? Are you engaging with your community in active, personal ways beyond throwing a soup can in a box?  No? 

Then, why are you “one of the good ones,” again? 

Political polarization among the American people is something that’s only going to get worse. Even knowing the consequences, though, I support it. I cannot imagine finding a way to love someone whose morals lead them to a political stance that actively harms me. I cannot visualize myself in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, with someone who supports putting accused rapists in power. It is never too late to reflect on your actions and ideologies and begin to work to repair the harm you’ve done. 

And ladies, consider this your sign: Dump him, if you feel his ideologies threaten your personhood.

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