You know what does not grind my gears? Panda bears.
I have to say that out of all the animals in the world, the panda bear is my favorite. They literally are the biggest stereotype of an animal that you can get, and I would love one for a pet if it would not eat my face off.
So, when I was looking around for stories, I stumbled on this CNN article on panda bears and their sex drives.
I know this sounds a little weird, but hear me out on this one because we have no room to talk.
Researchers have come to the conclusion and found the reason panda bears, which are endangered, are having such a hard time reproducing.
First thought that comes to mind has to be that it is their habitat, but actually, panda bears are just as shallow as humans.
Yes, panda bears that are forced to mate in captivity are not hitting it off well.
You would think that being locked up in a cell together would make them get jiggy with it, but they just are not sexually attracted to one another. Sunshine and Sweetie are two pandas in a Scotland zoo where researchers have found this pickiness about the giant bear.
No matter what “Barry White” songs they put on, they just cannot set the mood for these two.
Many of the people working with the pandas feel that it is the job of the people to force these animals to perform coitus with one another. Yet, others believe that this is ridiculous.
We should not be wasting time and money on these creatures when they are only hurting their species because they have high standards.
News flash, people. Humans are just as shallow.
We know exactly what it is like to have high standards, so who are they to know what the pandas see in each other?
I am sure that the people who disagree with aiding the panda bears are still living in their parents’ basements and going to Star Trek conventions. Back off the pandas, Trekkies.
I know you would not mind being locked in a room with someone and having someone say, “O.K. you two have to procreate to save the earth.”
Yet, how many times have we heard the line, “I would not sleep with you if you were the last man or woman on Earth?”
This is exactly what these pandas feel when they see what they are stuck with.
It makes them a sad panda.
Yes, a reader might miss the big picture of this issue because it is panda bears. I want you to use your feelings deep down and visualize what it would be like for the pandas.
Think of what it would be like to be stuck in a room with someone you might not be into, and be expected to make sweet love to them down by the fire. Now, imagine that, but being in a zoo cell and having people staring at you trying to coax you along as if you were 16 all over again.
These pandas just want to be treated fairly. They want to find love just like you and me.
They want their gene pool to look as good as we want our children to look.
It is perfectly natural.
I think of myself as someone who has high standards and I do not think the pandas are in the wrong.
Why should they settle if other species do not?
I want to find a girl who meets all of my standards, so the panda bear should be allowed to find his or her ideal mate too.
Get on with your bad self giant panda, you deserve the best.