She fell in love with her psychiatrist, and he kept her until she had the “strength” to walk away.

If anyone has been on TikTok, they may have seen Kendra Hilty. The woman who claims to have been held in an unethical doctor-patient relationship with her psychiatrist, and whom she states she is in “love” with. At first, I started writing this because of pure interest. Then I quickly realized the dangers of Hilty’s actions and decided it was important to show what these actions lead to. 

I think Hilty’s main issue is limerence, an obsessive infatuation that is different from love, and it builds upon delusion and the need for the others to reciprocate what they think they feel. As her actions got increasingly more erratic, it seemed her limerence did as well. 

Hilty is fixated on his looks from the start, while negating his profession and acting irrational by talking to him as a therapist and friend. She refers to his personal interests and life, which is not what he is there for. 

She mentions she had substance abuse issues in the past, but it does not excuse her saying that psychiatrists are good at pretending to listen just because she feels as though he is only listening to get closer to her, not to be her psychiatrist.

Psychiatrists do care, but they are not therapists. It is not in their practice to deal with trauma and therapy-style sessions, but rather they listen, diagnose and address problems firsthand. Hilty only saw him every month for 30 minutes over Zoom, which I think further solidified her delusions. 

Hilty also broke multiple professional and ethical boundaries. She speaks with the psychiatrist’s office manager and finds out he takes clients in person. Hilty confronts him on this, saying that he only did not want to meet in person due to the “sexual tension” that must have been between them. 

Hilty also would call him by his first name, and she hugged him when she first met him in person. Psychiatrists have guidelines they must follow to keep patients calm and from acting upon their thoughts, which, in my opinion, he thought she would do. 

As this continued, I felt Hilty became more obsessed and developed limerence, though I am not a medical professional. She starts mentioning that he is reciprocating the feelings she has for him, which fuels her narrative, and matches the condition. 

Hilty eventually got an actual therapist, but she did not believe that it was helping her. I believe this was because of her limerence going further and her not understanding why her thoughts about him were wrong or boundary-crossing. Hilty instead continues calling the psychiatrist a predator and manipulative, but believes he still somehow wants her. 

A major switch was when Hilty described a moment when she was hit by a car. She went to her appointment with him instead of getting help, then acted like he was the problem because he did not immediately get her help. 

Hilty goes as far as accusing this psychiatrist of being a groomer and using his professional knowledge for harm, then doxxed him by saying his name in a TikTok video. She confirmed that pictures and videos of him were real, even saying that she “does not owe him anonymity.” Hilty played victim, leading to this psychiatrists full name, workplace and intimate life details being released.

Hilty then decided to make up her own therapist named Henry, using ChatGPT, which further fed her irrational thoughts. ‘Henry’ told Hilty about transference and countertransference and told her that her psychiatrist was also engaging in this behavior, which I believe encouraged Hilty to continue and go even further. Like other cases using AI that have become headline news, it influenced the behavior, which was contributing to the issue.

The breaking point for me is when Hilty tells him about an explicit dream she had about him, where his silence is seen as a victory for her, not a violation, and is feeding her fantasy even more. I believe Hilty crossed boundaries from the beginning, but adding the influence of AI caused her to feel powerful and knowledgeable like her psychiatrist. 

In the end, she says it’s because she “escaped”, but she no longer sees him because her insurance doesn’t cover it. She never tried to sever her connection to him, showing she never really got over him.

I feel she started with good intentions while trying to manage her ADHD. Eventually, though, her narrative became reality, and in the end, Hilty couldn’t help herself.

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