Oh Bachelor Nation, how I have despised you.
I am no opponent of reality TV – I cannot get enough of “The Masked Singer,” for god’s sake – but for years I viewed the “Bachelor” franchise as a permanent member of the lowest tier of reality television franchises, along with “The Real Housewives” and nearly anything else on Bravo.
My entire perspective on the franchise may be changing, and it’s all thanks to one man – Gerry Turner, also known as “The Golden Bachelor.”
When this spinoff was announced months ago, I instantly knew that I would have to break my no-Bachelor rule, and I did when the premiere aired on Thursday.
Why they ever produce this show with a bunch of attention-seeking, want-to-be 20-something influencers is beyond me. It is so much more dynamic to watch individuals who, in many cases, have already been married and found love before who are trying to find it again. Turner is 72, and his potential spouses are all between the ages of 60 and 75.
Turner was married to his high school sweetheart for 43 years before she passed away in 2017, and he said in an interview before the premiere that the love he looks for in his 70s is drastically different than what he wanted in his youth. Turner has been through the highs and lows of a long-term relationship and will hopefully show viewers his attempts to connect more genuinely than the “regular” Bachelors do.
Of course, a group of 21 eligible women over 60 is sure to produce a few standouts. Here are some of my rapid-fire first impressions.
Sandra – A granny with a mouth. “I like some of those f-words and s-words.”
Leslie – Showed up in a granny costume with a walker only to throw it all aside and reveal a horrendous dress. She should have kept the walker.
Peggy – “When I first saw you on Good Morning America, I could not breathe for two hours.” I give it two more days until ABC is selling a mug.
Kathy – A Caitlyn Jenner lookalike with genuine crazy eyes. Stay clear.
Faith – I can unequivocally declare that Faith and Gerry are going to walk off into the sunset. He gave her the first impression rose, and she rode in on a motorcycle and sang him a song during their first chat. They are clearly vibing with each other, and she will be receiving the final rose.
I don’t think I will ever declare myself a member of Bachelor Nation, but mark me down as a member of team Gerry and Faith (Ferry?).
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