A Raider’s View: Intolerantly home for the holiday


The holidays are over and we have all returned back to classes for the remainder of the semester, but one thing is certain — some of us are happy to be back.

Holidays are always stressful, especially with having to see relatives you only see once or twice a year.

There is often the aunt who does not know how to season anything, or the uncle who will only talk about sports and politics.

A cousin brings home their significant other and the family does not approve. Suddenly, the entire family turns into a scene from any classic gladiator movie you can think of.

While you are just trying to get your helping of sweet potato pie, it is clear arguments are inevitable.

There is no doubt that holidays are rough, but they can be detrimental to those from the LGBT community. Bringing home significant others is a limited option, and you always get asked the question you have heard for years, “Are you seeing anybody?”

Finding it in your soul to not ruin dinner by coming out over the ham and mashed potatoes, but knowing there is only a matter of time before that cousin you came out to in high school knows something is up.

Going home to unaccepting households for the holidays can provide a sense of dread to persons in the LGBT community, and can cause a great amount of stress.

Setting limits with yourself as well as your family is a great self-help tool for the holidays.

Knowing what you can handle and when to walk away may save you from an explosion of mass proportions.

If walking away is not an option, finding outlets in conversations may give you an escape plan you need to evacuate the situation.

Changing the conversations around to talk about family members is an easy way to keep topic of discussion from being you and your personal life.

At the end of the day, the greatest feeling is knowing that you avoided your aunt’s gluten-free cookies that she made at the last minute and burned, and your uncle spent the entire time talking about politics with that cousin you came out to.

Just remember, you made it through the holiday, and there is comfort knowing that ones after this will emulate the past.

The day will end, and things will fall back into a cycle of normalcy.

Finding techniques like conversation aversion and leaving conversations before they get hostile can make dinner with the family slightly more tolerable.

For future reference for anybody that may know someone or are subjected to being in an unaccepting household that may need additional support, you can contact the Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860, and the National Suicide Hotline for any sort of crisis by texting CONNECT to 741741 or call 1-800-273-8255.


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