What Grinds My Gears: Undecided Voters

 

You know what grinds my gears, the undecided voter.

They get the most attention during election season every time, it never fails.

The people who have no idea who to vote for make headlines almost undermining the ones who have made up their minds already.

Yeah, I know that as a candidate you want to sway these people to join your cause, you need them to make a decision.

At the same time though, these people realize this, too.

They join forces to reap the benefits that the other voters do not receive.

All they want is publicity and we give them that. America spends too much time worrying about the undecided voter and they love every minute of it.

When election season gets into full swing, most of the people have made up their minds.

The Democrats are voting for their man, and Fox News is voting for theirs. We see this every year.

Just when we get down to the last few months, every campaign stop has candidates talking to the undecided people.

They are the missing puzzle piece for each party to claim victory. The worst group of these undecided voters are the ones I like to call the “O hi don’t kno’s” The people from Ohio are just the worst.

Every state has its select undecided people that go and make the TV appearances, or flood debates to ask idiotic questions.

Yet, the Ohio people are the crème de la crème of the undecided vote.

Ohio is the main battleground state, always up for grabs on both ends with a chance to put either candidate in office.

It is the state that projects the most unemployment, and of course it has the city of Cleveland in it and we all know how hard it is to carry that stigma.

So, politicians rally to Ohio to give the state all the recognition it will ever get all year long.

I believe though that if Ohio had the chance, it would vote for another candidate just to make the other two look bad.

Ohio undecided voters are like that beautiful girl at school.

Everyone wants to get her, so they put on the charm and woo her to their side.

Then once she finally chooses, she breaks the one candidate’s heart and ends up leaving the other one with herpes. We have seen it done time and time again. Why else would we have had Bush Jr. for two terms?

The easiest way to combat these undecided voters is to let them vote or not vote.

Do not sway them one way or the other; just let them live with the mistake.

Whoever wins the election outright is president, and if we have no clear cut winner then obviously they both are horrible choices.

The time and money it takes to spend campaigning to undecided voters would aid in jobs, and it might even help boost the economy.

I mean this country was founded on stern principles.

Our forefathers and four uncles founded this land knowing exactly what they wanted; freedom, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and 25 seasons of “Survivor.”

They knew George Washington was the man for the job, and no one disagreed.

The only undecided voters back in those days were Native Americans and that was just because they had no idea what was even going on.

America has its fair share of problems and we all know that.

No one, not even Chuck Norris can fix all of our issues.

So, our undecided voters will always be around.

Always making sure to reiterate the already asked questions, to rally at events where the most news cameras are, and to take all the surveys that do not matter anymore.

These people might never truly make up their mind, at least until I run for office.

So, keep fighting the good fight undecided voters, because after all only you are the reason why our country is so indecisive in the first place.

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